i'm out... off to CHEK 3... the CHEK conference..  off to hang with Jp and Paul..  I will be once again a new version of myself, which truly happens every moment..  but these moments "feel" like bigger shifts.. the true "work" or "play" for me is learning that these moments are no bigger or life changing than any other..  each moment is a possible rebirth..  each moment we can free ourselves and others by allowing freedom in the moment.  let go of your past experience of yourself and other and try to observe the rebirth of the person in every moment..  we are literally never the same..  let that go.. this in its self creates freedom from expectation, and freedom from resentment when people don't meet your ego expectations of them..  be free..  be free jator..  be aware in every moment to the best of your ability..  i am typing and thinking right now.. images dance through my head... ideas...  my fingers touching the keyboard..  the heat from my computer warming my hands..  awareness connects you to your true essence...  when you are fully aware everything melts away..  you are home..  you are empty..  everything is perfectly clear and free..  it is an amazing experience that is slowly becoming my reality..  as i continually bring myself back to awareness, and out of unconsciousness i am literally re-writing my hard and soft wiring. i feel a huge shift occurring...  "I had to get out of the boat to walk on water"  Jay-Z

i grow tired..  इ ग्रो तिरेड

walking the path that i choose at times i grow tired..  not of the path..  not of the walking.. but of others ideas trying to "infect" the soil of my psyche.. 

what i mean is..  look hard enough into any "issue", with beliefs of how the issue may manifest and surely you will find that the "issue" is rooted in your beliefs about the "issue"..  an easy example = you have a torn hamstring, you go to the physical therapist that has many beliefs about torn hamstrings, lets say this therapist is deeply studying the fascia system of the body, your torn hamstring will most likely be a facia issue in his mind, you take that same torn hamstring to someone who is deeply rooted in the chakra system and that same hamstring will have roots in the charkra system, again...  you take that same hamstring to someone who is into the Psyche of a person and they will surely find the roots of your hamstring in something to do with your childhood.  So where the hell does it manifest? 

Each of these therapists would be interpreting "source" "god" "unconditional" at different levels on a horizontal plane.  Each with interpretations that have to be poured through there belief systems, not to mention every other system of the body, by the time "source" makes it through the maze of the individual it has been skewed in more ways than care to or possibly could count.  then this same person must communicate this "interpretation" to you which is more skewed, and then you must "interpret" there communication which has to run through the entire maze which is you! 

i grow tired of these interpretations..  i know the cleaner the mirror of the "individual" the less taint will come through their interpretation of source..  do i know that?  i think so.. at least it feels true in this moment, and if that is the case that their mirror is "clean" and their interpretation is very close to the "truth" i still have to move that through my "dirty" mirror..  how f.d up is that =) 

so.. what does this all mean to me?  it means look for masters whom you believe are "cleaner" mirrors..  learn from them..  be open..  practice sacred listening..  practice looking within and observing self..  and one day..  when you feel "clean"  when you feel connected...  when you feel your interpretation is getting close to "source" with less taint..  start to "listen" to yourself..  start to be your own "guru"..  start to trust yourself and your intuition..  ALL OF THE ANSWERS ARE WITHIN YOU..  we just each need to be "clean" enough to see the true reflection, and "hear" the true reflections..  one day..  we will all learn there is only ONE master..  the master that is within each of us... the master knocks so hard at the door of you..  all you have to do is open the door...

As a seed must release its form in order to grow,
we, too, are releasing who we have been ...
in order to Birth New Reality.

Nature reveals her beauty through the changing
seasons.  Each bud must release to BLOOM,
each flower morphs to become the fruit.  The fruit
must open its Heart to gift its Seed.  Each seed
must shed its form in order to become the Tree.

An ever-present shift in the expression of our being
facilitates the continuance of Life.

Just for today ...

Consider what is ready to be released, shed and discarded
in your Life.  What thoughts, expressions of Being,
relationships, jobs or activities no longer feel true for
you?  It is natural, and vital, at this time to let go of
what no longer serves, in order for your Dream Seed
to flow and grow.

Spend a few moments making a list of these.  As you
write these out, also consider what gifts you have
received from each one.  Every one of these choices,
actions, partners and endeavors has brought you to
this moment.  By choosing to see, and release, each
one through the eyes of Gratitude ... the form falls
away, making room for what is now growing at the
Heart of YOU.

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Blooming Humans are WE!

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In releasing attachment to former states of Being,
we Birth New Reality.  As our Dream Seeds are
programmed to express infinite combinations
in infinite diversity, it is also helpful to not get attached to
HOW it will grow.  Trusting in our ability to 'Fulfill
your Role in Birthing New reality' creates room for
the mystery of Life to surprise, inspire and delight.

Our journey has just begun, and only Love knows what
gifts, shifts and opportunities will be revealed.
Daily meditation, contemplation and concentration
on our intent will assist in releasing attachment
to form-er ideas, creating space to witness our
Dream Seeds evolve, take root, BLOOM and fruit!

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from the Sufi master Hafiz :

Light Will someday split you open
Even if your life is now a cage.

Little by little, You will turn into stars.
Little by little, You will turn into
The whole sweet, amorous Universe.

Love will surely burst you wide open
Into an unfettered, booming new galaxy.

You will become so free
In a wonderful, secret
And pure Love That flows
From a conscious, One-pointed, Infinite Light.

Even then, my dear, The Beloved will have fulfilled
Just a fraction, Just a fraction!
Of a promise He wrote upon your heart.

For a divine seed, the crown of destiny,
Is hidden and sown on an ancient, fertile plain
You hold the title to.

O look again within yourself,
For I know you were once the elegant host
To all the marvels in creation.

When your soul begins
To ever bloom and laugh
And spin in Eternal Ecstasy-

O little by little, You will turn into God.

Unconditional Love...  or just simply unconditional???

here are my in this moment feelings on what god, source, great spirit really is, and isn't... 

look around you..  what do you see..  do you see happy, sad, good, bad, right, wrong, should, or shouldn't?  do you see these conditions in your life and in others?  When "tragedy" occurs do you see the experience, the truth, the gift, or do you see the value which you place on this occurrence?  see above..  do you continually place your values on situations?  moral?  societal? etc..  hmmmmmmm..  parts of me do...   those parts are becoming less and less, the integrated parts of me see the gifts, the trust, the destiny..  Destiny to your ego is almost impossible to swallow...  it is so hard to except that your story has been written, and that we are here watching a movie that the outcome has already been determined, so hard for the ego, you have control right..  you are a concsious and unconscious co-creator (HOW EGO'ic OF YOU)...  i laugh...  yes, i have created this, my soul has..  source has..  Jator, has not..  Jator likes to think he has, it feels good to think he has some control..  but in truth for me, in this moment, that is just another ego trick to create more separation and duality...  i am not special..  i am not unique.. i am you and you are me..  Jator's physicality's are unique, his experience is unique..  his journey is unique..  but the truth of him is not unique..  it just is or isn't... 

in this moment, i do not feel that god, source, great spirit is unconditional "love", i feel that god, source, great spirit simply is "unconditional"..  once we add the word "love" to the end we attach so many conditions to what unconditional means...  love creates value, condition, idea etc to something that is none of those..  it simply is no condition...  we are here as spirit in form to experience condition.. to experience value...  to experience life in a conditioned form...  i simply say..  enjoy your experience as who you are in this lifetime..  let go of desire and outcome...  craving and aversion...  simply be..  simply trust..  OR not...  does not matter, it has been written..  this lifetime or the next who knows...  no rush...  simply experience this moment for it is all you truly have...

अनिचा Anicha

"By offering freedom you will be free. Freedom is the only gift you can offer to god's sons, being an acknowledgment of what they are and what he is. Freedom, is creation because it is love. Whom you seek to imprison you do not love, therefore when you seek to imprison anyone, including yourself, you do not love him and you cannot identify with him. When you imprison yourself, you are losing sight of your true identification with me and with the father" 

चेव यौर वाटर एंड ड्रिंक यौर फ़ूड     "Chew your water and drink your food"   The way of the Tao