tHIRTEEN

"the ego-state is much like the dream-state we enter while asleep. That is, just as we experience our sleeping dreams as real, so too do we believe our dream-life in this world to be real. Just as we need to awaken from our sleeping dreams, so too do we need to awaken from this dream-life. Therefore, our liberation depends on our becoming cognizant of this deception. Our purpose, then, is to wake up from the dream and to become lucid Co-creators. The only Reality that has value in our lives is LOVE, and love increases in proportion to our degree of awakening from the ego-state. The more we realize this truth, the more we see that our purpose is to awaken to our Unified Self. The Source is Infinite light, or Love, everywhere, always. This energy exists everywhere, always. It never changes. In our separated state, we live the illusion of separated selves, believing that giving is sacrifice and that attack and defense are real. The truth is that the Infinite State exists in its totality all around us, but all-too-often we are blind to its beauty and deaf to its harmony" Take Me To Truth

tWELVE

"HOW DEEP DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE DO YOU WANT TO GO?"....

as deep as it gets.. so deep i am lost but found.. so deep up is down.. so deep i become truth.. live truth.. am truth.. be true.. heal truth.. spread unconditional love to each and every person i see, touch, talk, be, heal with.. my mind is spinning, truly spinning.. my cocoon is opening up.. everything is as it should be, can not label anything anymore, everything is a lesson put there with nothing but unconditional love for me to evolve from and experience this half spirit half animal reality.. illusion.. in truth i am only spirit. only

to bed last night 10pm
up this morning 5am

nourishment
pork chops/ coconut oil/ salt/ pepper/ red onion 8am
same as above 12pm
same as above 2pm
same as above 530pm

i may seem absolutely out of my mind to some ; ) but honestly as i eat well, think well, sleep well, breathe well, move well, hydrate well, this reality becomes more and more solidified everyday. i am freeing myself of ego.. shame, guilt, projection, judgment, fear, hate, specialness, needs... FREE I BE.. like my good friend free bird.. flying free..

eLEVEN

when i was around 16 years old, i had a dream, during that dream i reached out to open a car door, as i was letting go of the handle my palm turned up... i brought my hand directly in front of my face.. and REALIZED that i was in a dream. i then took control of that dream and had a very interesting experience creating my reality........
two days ago, i had the same moment but in a wakeful state, i have truly realized that i am in a dream/an illusion. i have realized that i truly create my reality with my unconscious thoughts, projections, judgements, and egoic realities. when i saw my hand in this wakeful state i realized this................... i realized that i am unconsciously creating my reality and it is time to become conscious of my negativity, judgements, projections, ego, by doing this i can truly heal myself of these egoic realities and start to truly become a co-creator with my conscious mind. i feel like a newborn seeing the world for the first time.. we are all source, we are all god, we are all co-creators, we ARE ALL ONE... IT IS DONE

tEN

ayt kids. here goes some meat to chew on, if you can truly wrap your head around this one you will see the world in a whole new light.

"What you project you believe,'" and that means, "...you will learn what YOU are from what YOU have projected onto others, and therefore believe they are.

"As you see him YOU WILL SEE YOURSELF"

both quotes are from a course in miracles.

that is some deep deep stuff. every time you project onto others be cautious you are truly only seeing yourself and trying to separate yourself from what is really deep within you. by putting it onto others you believe it is not you, it is them, but in reality.... look into the mirror.. anytime you become annoyed, frustrated, pissed, etc at others, go deeper, look back at yourself and find the root, we are only mirrors for eachother, it is all you, or all me hiding from reality. remember whatever we see in others we strengthen within ourselves, i am working very hard at only seeing unconditional love in all others, because in truth that is all there really is..

to bed last night 11pm
up this morning 7am

nourishment
steak/tomato/yellow pepper for 3rd chakra/coconut oil/cayanne pepper/celtic salt
same as above 10am
same as above 1230pm
same as above 300pm
chicken thigh/himalayan salt/coconut oil/avocado 5pm

workin in 1hr (stretch,chi cultivation, gustalt method)

nINE

the universe pours clients my way! wow.. 4 new clients in a matter of days.. very interesting.. manifesting? creating? co-creating? hmmmmm this is the type of thought into reality that continues to deepen the new record grooves playing in my head.. this works.. lucky13.. i am unconditional love.. you are unconditional love.. i am love, happiness, joy, wonder, play, growth, abundance, exploration, change, evolution, spirit, source, god.. i am.. and so are you.. look beyond your illusion..

to bed last night 9pm
up this morning 730am

nourishment
830am pork chop/coconut oil
3pm pork chop/red onion/raw butter
6pm vegan sushi

eIGHT

in the moment. i see the light. darkness trying hard to bring me down. very hard. second by second battle. trust. no other choice. i cannot go back. i must press on. everything i need is inside of me, just need to see it, believe it, it is there.

to bed last night 9pm
up this morning 830am

nourihsment
detox tea 9am
chicken/olive oil 930am
chicken/olive oil 1130am
raw cream/ 2 banana 230pm
pork chop/red onion/coconut oil 720pm

i am losing it..
but i must trust that this is the way it should be..
and press on.. inspite of how hard my ego is trying to fill me with pain, sadness, fear, shame, and guilt.. it is not true.. the truth is unconditional.. love

sEVEN

ok.. back to business.. i have been in a funk, trying to trust in the universal inspiration.. working on being in the moment.. working on shuttin the ego up.. SHUT UP! you are not needed.. trust.. trust.. trust.. look for the lessons.. look for the judgements.. look for the fear, guilt, shame.. its all an illusion.. illusion.. illusion... reality is.. i am love.. i am beautiful.. i am grateful.. i am spirit.. i am joy.. i am safety.. i am security.. i am flow.. i am sun.. i am a co-creator.. i am i am i am.. i am all that i need, it is all within me.. it is all within you.. we are.. you are.. we be.. just learn to truly see.. learn to truly see beyond the illusion.. beyond.. beyond your eyes.. deeper.. deeper.. its all love.. all love, because that is all their can be..

to bed last night 1030pm
up this morning 5am

nourishment
730am steak/coconut oil
10am steak/coconut oil
1pm steak/coconut oil
5pm chicken/olive oil/broccoli

work "in" = watched life move from the eastbay.. watched the beautiful bay run its day. chi cultivation 20min (1) stretch b4 bed (1) meditation 20min (1)

be well all.. beyond the illusion.. behind the mask..

sIX

bed last night 1030pm
up this morning 500am

nourishment
7am citrus kombucha/salmon/coconut oil
9am salmon/coconut oil/ coffee
12pm salmon/coconut oil
4pm salmon/coconut oil
615 new york steak/coconut oil/yellow pepper/cayanne pepper

tired... goodnigh

fIVE

the universe it testing my resolve. testing my new path. testing to see if i am for real. i am ready, i do trust, i do recognize that i "my ego" does not know what is best for me, unconditional love directly from the source guides my life and helps me grow. i am working against many lifetimes run by ego, and 32 years of this lifetime, but i am strong, i am willful, i walk the path and refuse to step off, i am and will be 100% authentic to myself, i will grow and evolve, i will become a true human being.

to bed last night 10pm
up this morning 715am

8am pork chop/red onion/olive oil
10am same as above
2pm same as above
5pm same as above

work out today 1.5 hours including stretching

i have gone into my cocoon.. changing.. evolving.. growing.. i will become a butterfly

fOUR

i dont really know where to begin today.. The book i am into at the moment "Infinite Mind" has connected all the dots of my journey for the past 7 years.. Holistic lifestlye, chek practitioner, quantum physics, vipassna meditation, qi-gong, tai-chi, and all the seeds that were planted by my parents throughout my life. i am on a trip, with no drugs but trust me the ride is the same.. sometimes i dont know if i am dreaming or in "reality", or true comprehension of the illusion.. i am blown away.. my old self is melting away.. i am a tree sprouting from the soil, breaking old ideas, thoughts, guilt, fear, shame.. my new roots are growing, my new trunk is growing my new reality is growing, i am a co-creator, i do create my reality, i trust in the universal wisdom, i am doing my best to only see unconditional love, i am giving, i am loving.. i am ME.. fully.. expanding.. ME... you are me and i am you.. we are all the source.. we are all god having a human experience. i studied all day today from 11am until now.. my reality is changing.. i am becoming a "monk" in the city.. that is me.

to bed last night 9pm
up this morning 315am (thoughts swirling in my head, started to study then)

nourishment
5am salmon/raw butter/coconut oil
8am same as above
11am same as above
1pm same as above
3pm same as above
6pm steak/tomato/red pepper/coconut oil

ciao

tREY

i feel like neo.. "the matrix" when he realizes he is the one.. i am not the one but we all are the one.. we are all one.. there really is no "i" there is only we.. and we need to awaken like neo.. to see the matrix, to see the illusion.. to see the distraction.. let me rephrase that.. we all do not need this.. but "i" do.. i am following my own path.. my own right.. my own values.. learning who i truly am, not who i think i am.. taking off the glasses of the past and seeing life new.. today.. beautiful. expressive.. expansive.. unconditional.. wuji.. breathe.. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

to bed last night 9pm
up this morning 7am

nourishment
8am bacon/onion/olive oil
1030am same as above
200pm same as above
245pm pork loin (what the hell is pork loin anyway?) onions, coconut oil, olive oil
600pm salmon,raw butter

work out and stretch 11-1pm
chi gong 10min, vipassana meditate 10min soon as i post this.. its late and garfield is freakin tired..

amor jator

tWO

man... The Infinite Truth "undoing the ego" is blowing my mind! book is crazy good.. crazy..

to bed last night 1015pm
up this morning 715am

i am having an internal struggle with coffee at the moment, i feel as tho it is my only vice and i have convinced myself that i need a vice.. which i truly do not.. growing up in a household that coffee was as precious as wine is a interesting pattern to break. i am going to try wheening myself off, so this week 3 times, next week 2, and the following week 1, add in tea (no caffeine) to help ease my transition. will keep you posted.

nourishment
8am 2 boiled eggs, broccoli, coconut oil, chicken thigh
11am raw cream, coffee
215pm chicken thighs, broccoli, coconut oil
530pm chicken thighs, spinach, coconut oil

work out = ice hockey 1215pm-145pm
work in = chi cultivation 20min, vipassana meditation 20min, chakra work 5min, stretch 20min (2)

working on truly realizing that we are all eachother and we at our root are all unconditional love.. breaking the ego down, and uprooting roots that no longer serve me.

oNE

back to full business. today started rebirth. i have written into my sch everyday chi-cultivation, meditation, stretching, workouts, workins, chakra work, and study time. i am in a very good position right now to focus completely on my self development. newest find from my good friend Tom Armenta - The Infinite Truth "undoing the ego", this book and audio are ridiculous!

to bed last night 8pm
up this morning 445am

nourishment today
7am steak/red peppers/coconut oil
9am same as above
11am same as above
315pm same as above
345pm 3 boiled eggs/coconut oil
6pm chicken chorizo sausage

chi cultivation 20min/ vipassana meditation 20min/ chakra work 10min (day 1 7am)
stretch (day 1 5pm)
zone exercise 1 hour 11am

day one down!