hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah... all i can do is laugh.. the universe has truly given me a gift today.. a gift of S@#@ or get off the pot.. man, a true test. testing my resolve, testing my strength, testing if i am truly bout it.. funny enough.. i am Fu@#$#@ bout it! what is the lesson here?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, my ego goes on and on and on... yapping his mouth off, "see jah, i told you.! why were you your true self? you should stick to being a player, stick to being a dick, stick to not caring, stick to the external of who you are..... This way jah, you wont get hurt, you won't get your heart all wrapped up just to be smashed, you wont feel this pain, you can give the pain, you can smash hearts, you can hurt others, you will avoid being wrapped up... avoid pain.. pain pain...pain... all the while protecting yourself".. really ego? protecting myself? if everyone is truly me and i am hurting them, blaming them, projecting on them, judging them, who i ask am i truly hurting????????????? ME
STUPID EGO.. the ego does not know what the f he's talking bout.. if i went back to the old me all i really am doing is hurting myself too. just a seemingly easier way of doing it.. but in the long run the same pain.. same thoughts.. same being empty..
but this is the new ja... new month.. new beginning.. new lesson.. thank you universe.. you are showing me not to externalize my love, to recognize that all i need is within me, to not engage in "special relationships", to not have others fill my needs, to recognize no matter what i am unconditional love, i am truth, i am authentic, i am real. to not become emotionally attached, to engage from this day fourth ONLY in conscious love, love where one is free to be authentic, free to be real, free to be ME.. real love, no conditions, no you did this, or your too that, just total acceptance, total awareness that all judgment and projection is just a mirror for you. FOR YOU! i am only giving unconditional love.. i am breaking free.. i am losing the illusion.. thank you universe for this lesson, i am on the pot taking a huge poopie police right now! you cant break me, you cant, you cant, you cant, because i trust that who i truly am is pure love, who you truly are is pure love.. and there is nothing else here.. just pure unconditional love.. there is no attack, fear, guilt, shame, unhappiness, bad, good, there is no labels.. i am love.. i am love.. i am AMOR...
it is done
to bed last night 830pm
up this morning 5am
nourishment
6am steak/raw and cooked tomato and yellow pepper
8am same as above
11am same as above
1pm same as above
4pm same as above
6pm chicken thigh/kale/eggs
work "in" zones for half hour/ chi cultivation 20min/ stretch 20min
one last thought. this path is f'n rough. it is a struggle to break the "norm" i don't consider myself abnormal, or "trying" to be not the norm.. i am truly only being me.. truly.. i am only following the path that feels right to my soul, to my dream, to my flow. i dont have to work, or try to be this, it just is, it is who i am to my roots. i am a star that shines so bright it is blinding, but that is not special we are all stars that shine just as bright. we are all one, we are all source. i am learning to truly be me, and to truly be you. unconditional love, unconditional love, unconditional love.. that is easy to say.. hard to do.. no conditions wow.. i have lost most of my friends, my girl, etc going down this path, but it is my path. do you think a gay guy or a lesbian would "choose" that path? to be judged, hated, thought of as weird, abnormal, etc??? no.. they just are that.. they are being real to who they are no matter what. AS AM I
LEGACY DREAM
I am healing myself of past pains, to create the ability to be here and now. I will collect my soul from past trauma and incorporate back into one whole being. I will continue to love, live, explore, create, and play this year. I will continue to consciously evolve. I WILL CONTINUE TO PLAY, PLAY, PLAY, PLAY AND I HAVE FREED MY MIND TO BECOME THE SNAIL HUNTER AGAIN, AND IT IS NOT YET 6/23/15
LOVE AND GRATITUDE
"MY MANY TEACHERS OF LIFE" LOVE AND GRATITUDE TOWARDS EACH OF YOU = Sonja, Nestor, Paul Chek, Vidya, Megan, Karen, JP Sears, Weston A. Price, Osho, SN Goenka, Rumi, Rudolf Steiner, Grandmaster Fu Wei Zhong, Buddha, Fong Ha and the Universal Chi/Wuji. THE NEWLY RECOGNIZED TEACHER =
ALL. I interact with so many on a daily basis and each interaction presents the moment for self-observation. The gift of observing my projections, judgments, fear, shame, guilt, anger, triggers, and the gift to truly see what it is about myself that I hide in "others". I am eternally grateful to be soul experiencing humanness.
ALL. I interact with so many on a daily basis and each interaction presents the moment for self-observation. The gift of observing my projections, judgments, fear, shame, guilt, anger, triggers, and the gift to truly see what it is about myself that I hide in "others". I am eternally grateful to be soul experiencing humanness.
I am eternally grateful to the Universe, Mother Earth, and Source. I am eternally grateful for every single moment and every single experience in each moment. I continue to step on my path. Unconditional LOVe to all sentient beings seen and unseen heard and unheard.
NOURISHMENT
All nourishment = Organic/Bio-dynamic/Pasture Raised. Continual Rotation Diet based on dynamic metabolic typing and listening to my soul. Supplements = Standard Process (muscle tested every 3-4 weeks by Kanako Kobayashi NC (contact@feedingwellness.com) for a continually deeper protocol to help me balance physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Highvitamen butter oil/fermented cod liver oil www.greenpastures.com Gut health pre/pro-biotics www.interplexus.com Systemic enzymes http://www.worldnutrition.info/vitalzym (which metabolize scar tissue) and I usually do deep cleanse once a year www.allnaturalcleanse.com = 60 day parasite/detox
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