थ्रौघ वर्ड   Through word.  Dialog with self.  i have been having much dialog with others.  the fires that transform us.  those people that "annoy, trigger, etc"  the only way this can happen to be annoyed, triggered, blame, is if there is actual past "points" of pain in these areas that these "teachers" bring to our awareness.  past metaphorical holes in spirit, or are they literal, dunno?  i do know that a part of me feels this is true, and another part of me is very curious about this.  i can always find these wounds within myself around the teachers that bring this into my awareness.  such a beautiful gift, observance of self, self exploration, diving into the depths that are potentially infinite.  in fact and not in fact at all i can get lost out there in consciousness....  i play with my animal to remember and be grateful for the gift of the animal as well.  i am here to embrace both..  to explore both..  to be conscious of both..  feel my cells breathe, feel cellular respiration, feel awareness, feel the construct within and without..  exploration of all SELF feels right, then again it feels not right at all..  not knowing..  letting go.. being..  who am i????????  really???  i am not jator..  physically yes i am on this plane as jator, but how many other planes am i truly on??  past lives?  Einstein did not believe in past lives, or even time for that matter..  just parallels...  parallels..  arise and pass.. and this to will change.  i except that i know nothing.  beginners mind.. start fresh..  open.. free.  i do not know my own best interest..  or do i??  lost and found at the same time..  strange place.. strange feeling..  beautiful.. the journey continues..