लोस ऑफ़ सेल्फ LOSS OF SELF!  i have spent the last seven years uprooting other peoples ideas "weeds" out of my psyche, including my own old ideas that were formed from others ideas living within me,  Value memes, social matrix memes, sub memes, memes..  As i have up rooted these "weeds" i have created a beautiful compost bin that is breaking these useless ideas down into the most amazing health, life, vitality, energizing, expanding, allowing, loving, creating, letting go, pure compost to grow my new beautiful mind garden..  the soil is bio-dynamic, full of life and full of source.  It is pure, bursting with life and is pulsing with the creative force of the universe, this is my new soil, to consciously grow my new mind within..  I am now truly farming self awarenss.  Although it feels intangable at times, in the sense of the unknown, the abyss that i am stepping into, but the alternative, to live as i once did is much more horryifying, the insanity that used to be me..  un-learning all that has been learned.  To be almost empty of the past...  Reborn mind..  Opprotunity to truly cultivate self, rather than waking up at thrity three and realizing, i have been living others ideas my whole life..  where have i been?

i am now re-birthing my mind.  Free to now consciously create myself in the present moment.  FREE!  I am lost and I am found.  I am alone, I AM ONE.  Wide eyed.  Reborn as a mature child.  The old construct is gone.  Empty.. Full.. The most extreme sad..  The most extreme happy.  The two dragons always playing with one another.  Complete let go.  I step into the abyss.  I trust.  I let go.  I see beyond my own cocoon.  Old jator is hanging on by threads..  he says goodbye to you all..  rebirth is upon me..

LOVe