if we live thru the filter of the past and always project into the future we can really never be here now to express our true nature = LOVE

who see's through your eyes..  your body is your vehicle to experience this current life..  YOU are watching your individual movie..  the source in you see's..  the ego in you judges what you see and reminds you that you are you, not the real YOU..  i try to remember who i really am, and who i am really not..  you are in the movie theater of your current life, remember that the real YOU is watching the movie...  observe.. witness.. flow

http://thrivemovement.com/    A MUST WATCH!

सौरसे इस वित्हीं SOURCE IS WITHIN...

i focus on this writing beyond writing..  

deeper than words..

look without your eyes..

"I" am there.

SOURCE is there, in the spaces that are unseen.

one unconscious cannot "see".

because one can not perceive..

does not matter..

"I" am there.

"The body can be a City of LOVe.  Each individual cell speaks the language we are thinking.  To express LOVe, we each must learn to LOVe our City, then LOVe can truly be expressed and embodied" - Jator

The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered "Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.  Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.  And then he is so anxious abouth the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived"

truer words have not been spoken...  truth ट्रुथ 

Be aware of the transformational process, no matter what type you are. "Psychology without spirituality is arid and ultimately meaningless, while spirituality without grounding in psychological work leads to vanity and illusions." (Understanding the Enneagram, 366)

I am FREE......
parts of me are not free..
parts of me are free..
we are growing together and "healing"
through integration and compassion for all parts of my-self-SELF
we are embracing change..
there is much opportunity in pain, opportunity from feeling rock bottom... 
parts of me are very afraid..  change is coming..  it is always here..  impermanence..  parts of me are excited..  TANGIBLE CHANGE...  it is present every moment..  the thread of DEATH every moment..  the thread of death is always here.. i do not know when it will strike, but I do know..  death helps me stay aware of only having this very moment...


The greatest achievement is selflessness.

The greatest worth is self-mastery.

The greatest quality is seeking to serve others.

The greatest precept is continual awareness.

The greatest medicine is the emptiness of everything.

The greatest action is not conforming with the worlds ways.

The greatest magic is transmuting the passions.

The greatest generosity is non-attachment.

The greatest goodness is a peaceful mind.

The greatest patience is humility.

The greatest effort is not concerned with results.

The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go.

The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances.



-Siddhartha

The possibility is there. If you make the effort you will catch the one ray that exists in you, and once you catch the one ray, the sun is not very far; then through the ray you can reach the sun - the ray becomes the path.
So remember: find attention, let it become a continuity in you twenty-four hours a day, whatsoever you do. Eat, but try to be attentive: eat with awareness. Walk, but walk with awareness. Love, but love fully aware. Try!
It cannot become total just in one day, but even if one ray is caught, you will feel a deep fulfillment, because the quality is the same whether you attain to one ray or the whole sun.

Osho

made it back!  chek level 3 and chek conference!

i do not have the words to express the depth of CP3..  my mind has been blown..  as blown as it was when i first stepped into chek exercise coach..  fasinating and epansive..  i have a least a year until level 4 so plenty of time to master all of my current studies..  the conference was amazing as well.  more amazing then both the conference and the course was the amazing brothers i made in class..  and the growth of freindship between jp, camron, kanako, and myself.  amazing to be around loving open beautiful human beings..  so beautiful..  and freeing...

AF 1

i'm out... off to CHEK 3... the CHEK conference..  off to hang with Jp and Paul..  I will be once again a new version of myself, which truly happens every moment..  but these moments "feel" like bigger shifts.. the true "work" or "play" for me is learning that these moments are no bigger or life changing than any other..  each moment is a possible rebirth..  each moment we can free ourselves and others by allowing freedom in the moment.  let go of your past experience of yourself and other and try to observe the rebirth of the person in every moment..  we are literally never the same..  let that go.. this in its self creates freedom from expectation, and freedom from resentment when people don't meet your ego expectations of them..  be free..  be free jator..  be aware in every moment to the best of your ability..  i am typing and thinking right now.. images dance through my head... ideas...  my fingers touching the keyboard..  the heat from my computer warming my hands..  awareness connects you to your true essence...  when you are fully aware everything melts away..  you are home..  you are empty..  everything is perfectly clear and free..  it is an amazing experience that is slowly becoming my reality..  as i continually bring myself back to awareness, and out of unconsciousness i am literally re-writing my hard and soft wiring. i feel a huge shift occurring...  "I had to get out of the boat to walk on water"  Jay-Z

i grow tired..  इ ग्रो तिरेड

walking the path that i choose at times i grow tired..  not of the path..  not of the walking.. but of others ideas trying to "infect" the soil of my psyche.. 

what i mean is..  look hard enough into any "issue", with beliefs of how the issue may manifest and surely you will find that the "issue" is rooted in your beliefs about the "issue"..  an easy example = you have a torn hamstring, you go to the physical therapist that has many beliefs about torn hamstrings, lets say this therapist is deeply studying the fascia system of the body, your torn hamstring will most likely be a facia issue in his mind, you take that same torn hamstring to someone who is deeply rooted in the chakra system and that same hamstring will have roots in the charkra system, again...  you take that same hamstring to someone who is into the Psyche of a person and they will surely find the roots of your hamstring in something to do with your childhood.  So where the hell does it manifest? 

Each of these therapists would be interpreting "source" "god" "unconditional" at different levels on a horizontal plane.  Each with interpretations that have to be poured through there belief systems, not to mention every other system of the body, by the time "source" makes it through the maze of the individual it has been skewed in more ways than care to or possibly could count.  then this same person must communicate this "interpretation" to you which is more skewed, and then you must "interpret" there communication which has to run through the entire maze which is you! 

i grow tired of these interpretations..  i know the cleaner the mirror of the "individual" the less taint will come through their interpretation of source..  do i know that?  i think so.. at least it feels true in this moment, and if that is the case that their mirror is "clean" and their interpretation is very close to the "truth" i still have to move that through my "dirty" mirror..  how f.d up is that =) 

so.. what does this all mean to me?  it means look for masters whom you believe are "cleaner" mirrors..  learn from them..  be open..  practice sacred listening..  practice looking within and observing self..  and one day..  when you feel "clean"  when you feel connected...  when you feel your interpretation is getting close to "source" with less taint..  start to "listen" to yourself..  start to be your own "guru"..  start to trust yourself and your intuition..  ALL OF THE ANSWERS ARE WITHIN YOU..  we just each need to be "clean" enough to see the true reflection, and "hear" the true reflections..  one day..  we will all learn there is only ONE master..  the master that is within each of us... the master knocks so hard at the door of you..  all you have to do is open the door...

As a seed must release its form in order to grow,
we, too, are releasing who we have been ...
in order to Birth New Reality.

Nature reveals her beauty through the changing
seasons.  Each bud must release to BLOOM,
each flower morphs to become the fruit.  The fruit
must open its Heart to gift its Seed.  Each seed
must shed its form in order to become the Tree.

An ever-present shift in the expression of our being
facilitates the continuance of Life.

Just for today ...

Consider what is ready to be released, shed and discarded
in your Life.  What thoughts, expressions of Being,
relationships, jobs or activities no longer feel true for
you?  It is natural, and vital, at this time to let go of
what no longer serves, in order for your Dream Seed
to flow and grow.

Spend a few moments making a list of these.  As you
write these out, also consider what gifts you have
received from each one.  Every one of these choices,
actions, partners and endeavors has brought you to
this moment.  By choosing to see, and release, each
one through the eyes of Gratitude ... the form falls
away, making room for what is now growing at the
Heart of YOU.

=================================

Blooming Humans are WE!

=================================

In releasing attachment to former states of Being,
we Birth New Reality.  As our Dream Seeds are
programmed to express infinite combinations
in infinite diversity, it is also helpful to not get attached to
HOW it will grow.  Trusting in our ability to 'Fulfill
your Role in Birthing New reality' creates room for
the mystery of Life to surprise, inspire and delight.

Our journey has just begun, and only Love knows what
gifts, shifts and opportunities will be revealed.
Daily meditation, contemplation and concentration
on our intent will assist in releasing attachment
to form-er ideas, creating space to witness our
Dream Seeds evolve, take root, BLOOM and fruit!

=================================
=================================

from the Sufi master Hafiz :

Light Will someday split you open
Even if your life is now a cage.

Little by little, You will turn into stars.
Little by little, You will turn into
The whole sweet, amorous Universe.

Love will surely burst you wide open
Into an unfettered, booming new galaxy.

You will become so free
In a wonderful, secret
And pure Love That flows
From a conscious, One-pointed, Infinite Light.

Even then, my dear, The Beloved will have fulfilled
Just a fraction, Just a fraction!
Of a promise He wrote upon your heart.

For a divine seed, the crown of destiny,
Is hidden and sown on an ancient, fertile plain
You hold the title to.

O look again within yourself,
For I know you were once the elegant host
To all the marvels in creation.

When your soul begins
To ever bloom and laugh
And spin in Eternal Ecstasy-

O little by little, You will turn into God.

Unconditional Love...  or just simply unconditional???

here are my in this moment feelings on what god, source, great spirit really is, and isn't... 

look around you..  what do you see..  do you see happy, sad, good, bad, right, wrong, should, or shouldn't?  do you see these conditions in your life and in others?  When "tragedy" occurs do you see the experience, the truth, the gift, or do you see the value which you place on this occurrence?  see above..  do you continually place your values on situations?  moral?  societal? etc..  hmmmmmmm..  parts of me do...   those parts are becoming less and less, the integrated parts of me see the gifts, the trust, the destiny..  Destiny to your ego is almost impossible to swallow...  it is so hard to except that your story has been written, and that we are here watching a movie that the outcome has already been determined, so hard for the ego, you have control right..  you are a concsious and unconscious co-creator (HOW EGO'ic OF YOU)...  i laugh...  yes, i have created this, my soul has..  source has..  Jator, has not..  Jator likes to think he has, it feels good to think he has some control..  but in truth for me, in this moment, that is just another ego trick to create more separation and duality...  i am not special..  i am not unique.. i am you and you are me..  Jator's physicality's are unique, his experience is unique..  his journey is unique..  but the truth of him is not unique..  it just is or isn't... 

in this moment, i do not feel that god, source, great spirit is unconditional "love", i feel that god, source, great spirit simply is "unconditional"..  once we add the word "love" to the end we attach so many conditions to what unconditional means...  love creates value, condition, idea etc to something that is none of those..  it simply is no condition...  we are here as spirit in form to experience condition.. to experience value...  to experience life in a conditioned form...  i simply say..  enjoy your experience as who you are in this lifetime..  let go of desire and outcome...  craving and aversion...  simply be..  simply trust..  OR not...  does not matter, it has been written..  this lifetime or the next who knows...  no rush...  simply experience this moment for it is all you truly have...

अनिचा Anicha

"By offering freedom you will be free. Freedom is the only gift you can offer to god's sons, being an acknowledgment of what they are and what he is. Freedom, is creation because it is love. Whom you seek to imprison you do not love, therefore when you seek to imprison anyone, including yourself, you do not love him and you cannot identify with him. When you imprison yourself, you are losing sight of your true identification with me and with the father" 

चेव यौर वाटर एंड ड्रिंक यौर फ़ूड     "Chew your water and drink your food"   The way of the Tao

who shot ya..  व्हो शोट या?

i shot me..  i killed me..  i hated me..  i loved me..  

i shot me..  there is no one else here..  how do you know??  is this theory or experience?  i know from experience..  but i get lost in theory too..  i have built, destroyed, attacked, loved, opened, closed, my eyes, your eyes, whose eyes????????  look in the mirror..  look behind what you "see"  look into your own "in ti ma cy"...  dont be afraid..  dont let your ego protect you...  from the real you...  look into the dark...

i killed me...  how sad...  how sad..  you...  YOU..  you..  me...  given the gift of being spirit in a conscious human body..  and you killed it...  i killed it..  forgot the gift..  forgot the blessing..  forgot the truth of who i am.. of who you are..  of who we are..  i killed me..  i forgot me..  do you remember..  i do..  no more killing me..  by me..  no more suicide..  

i hated me.. by hating you..  by projecting onto you..  by running from who i am..  and seeing all my faults in you not in me..  see easy to blame the other.. so hard to look into the mirror..  no rush...  one day you will see..  you have not choice..  take your time..  slow.. fast..  no matter..  you can only run from you for so long..  one day... one day..  you will awaken..  awaken from the dream that is other..  and sleep back into yourself.

i loved me..  i loved me by loving you..  i loved me..  i loved you and loved my experience of myself around you...  reminding myself that i love me..  but i needed you to be my mirror of me..  so i could see...  there is only me..  so who do i love? 

you may only understand this if you do not read it..  you may only understand this if you do not speak it..  you may only understand this if you close your eyes...  you may only understand this if you open your hand...  you may only understand this if you remember...  remember..  the moment you fell asleep...  and awoke in this dream... you may only understand this if you go back to sleep.. 

you have only one requirement in each lifetime.  be authentic to yourself..................

relating in relationship????

This may be a multi part blog..  been playing with this one in my head and my heart for awhile..  mainly because i have learned from relating to myself, others, and myself again in all relationships..  romantic..  friendship.. business.. etc..  what do we "expect" from others...????  should we expect from others?? if we truly learned  to live in the present not project from the past and expect in the future would we be open to see what is truly here in every moment..  LOVe???  Love is a dangerous word..  it means different things to different people, so let me clarify what LOVe means to me..  LOVe = to be compassionate to oneself and to others..  to accept others for who they are, what they enjoy, and feels right to them no matter how directly opposite it may be from my views in the moment.  LOVe is everything and NOthing..  This idea of LOVe is not the idea most of us are raised with here are some examples of the old "love" = compromise, give to get, keeping pro and con points, who does more of, who does less of, why cant you be this way, why cant you be that way..

 LOVe.......   if you can imagine, is the warmest safest place you have ever been, it opens it arms to you no matter what..  i literally mean NO MATTER WHAT..  no matter how "bad" or how "good" you believe yourself or others to be LOVe will always be there with open arms..  in relationship i have seen myself learn to LOVe, and i have watched my self "love"...  the more i LOVe the less i love..  the more i am present, the less i project from the past into the present, the more i am present the less i project into the future and create worry about what will and what wont happen, and finally the more i am actually here in the present moment not created by the past or the future which means i am never really here, i finally get to be here to experience LOVe!

What the hell is the Charka system anyway?

That is a pretty good question and I’m glad you asked.  Again, as always I can only share my experience and what feels true to me.  This does not mean it is right or wrong, it is purely my experience.  As I journey into the depths of who I think I am, I have found that “truth” is merely our perception of any given subject.  You can quote all the research in the world, from the top people in any given field but if my experience is different than the research than I will always trust in my innate wisdom over research, and other’s ideas.  One of my favorite words is “Pono” = Effectiveness is the measurement of TRUTH.  With that being said, I will share what the Chakra system is to me.

I believe through my experience that we are much more than the physical body we see in the mirror.  We have many bodies on much more subtle levels, these being the emotional body, the mental body, and the spiritual body.  I believe the P.E.M.S bodies are only the beginning but these are the only realities I can recall experiencing.

The Charka system literally interprets our emotional, mental, and spiritual realities.  Our consciousness is not within us, it is outside of us, and whatever we have experienced in life gets filtered by the charka system and then is projected into our physical reality.  The body is only a bio-feedback mechanism to bring our awareness to what is actually going on in our consciousness.   Think of any auto-immune disease, could this disease just be the body bringing our awareness to parts of our ego that is full of self hatred?  In turn the body turns against itself to bring our awareness to this self hatred in hopes that we will hear its message and heal the roots within our consciousness to bring about true health and wellness?  Hmmmmmm…  I say it is a possibility, I also say I could be quite delusional, either way I find it interesting. 

Here is another way to understand the Chakra system.  Think of the Chakra system as a satellite TV dish on your house which receives your emotional, mental, and spiritual states.  The dish (chakras) interprets this subtle energy and projects this energy into a descrambler (your glandular and plexus systems), these systems then funnel this energy into your TV (what you see and experience), what you see and experience is recorded by your DVD player (organ system), this goes on most of our lives until we each realize that we hold the channel changer in our hand, and can choose to watch any channel available.  With this knowledge we can change our reality and heal ourselves through our perceptions.

My only question to myself is, do I want to continue to watch the same channel the rest of my life unconsciously or do I want to consciously create my reality?  The choice is truly yours.

i step without stepping.  i walk without walking.  i see without eyes.  i walk the pathless path without leaving a foot print.  i close my eyes and trust.  i open my heart and trust.  i come from heart first.  i am unlearning all that has been learned.  i am becoming free and simple.  i am open and closed.  i am becoming free as death although i am alive.

Listen to your being. It is continuously giving you hints; it is a still, small voice. It does not shout at you, that is true. And if you are a little silent you will start feeling your way. Be the person you are. Never try to be another, and you will become mature. Maturity is accepting the responsibility of being oneself, whatsoever the cost. Risking all to be oneself, that's what maturity is all about. - Osho

Nuts and bolts of “healing”

I believe that to heal we need to feel and to feel we need to heal.  We must address ourselves from a 360 degree view.  This includes looking into our P.E.M.S (Physical, Emotional, Mental, Spiritual) states of being.  Each state creates higher levels of awareness, as your awareness grows in the physical you will become more aware of the emotional and so on. 

A very simple way to start feeling what may be going on within you, is to use slow movements to create deeper awareness.  I enjoy using the Zone exercise section in the book “How to Eat Move and Be Healthy” –Paul Chek.  Here are some basic guidelines that I personally give my clients when addressing Zone 1.

1.       As you do these zone exercises I would like you to imagine that you are breathing in a deep glowing red color.  This red is infusing every cell in your body, and helping to move any blockages (past injury/current pain etc... rooted in the physical/emotional/mental/spiritual) out of the body.

2.       Wearing red during these exercises will enhance your imagination and help your intuition.

3.       You can also repeat these mantras as you move

-          My body is becoming more important to me.  I nurture it constantly.

-          My internal mother is always here for me, protecting, nourishing, and soothing me.

-          I deserve the best that life has to offer my needs are always met.

4.       You can also do these movements with a “quiet mind”, pay close attention to the thoughts, and images that arise while moving this Zone of your body.  These thoughts and images may hold the keys to what emotional root is causing your discomfort, pain, injury etc.

5.         If you just ate a big thanksgiving dinner and you were stuffed, you would do these movements at a pace that would help your digestion not hinder it.  Extremely slow movement.

6.       These can be done anytime.  When you are stressed they can be used to decrease stress.  When you are low energy they can be used to wake you.

7.        It is important to keep an open mind and literally imagine this red, soothing, glowing color infusing your entire body and moving out any blockages that may be present.

8.       HAVE FUN!

I believe the keys to all healing are nutrition, hydration, sleep, breathing, moving, and finally your thinking.  Where in each of these areas can you make improvements to bring the body back into alignment?  As you start to create vitality within you will become more aware of the bio-feedback your body gives you each moment.  This will present the opportunity to address “issues” at more subtle levels.

These are only my thoughts and my pure open hearted sharing of what has worked for me personally and many of my clients.  Next blog I will start to break down the entire Chakra system and how to use it as a healing tool for all of us.  With qi and LOVe

What does it take to truly “heal” ourselves?

In my experience of coaching numerous clients over the past twelve years, it takes much more than working out to truly reach our potential as a human being  (still a work in progress for myself as well).  This may seem obvious, but it also takes more than nutrition, hydration, sleep, and breath to reach our potential.

I believe for us to reach our “dreams”, may it be to get leaner, stronger, healthier, faster, it takes a willingness to look within and find the roots of why we are the way we are physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  What does this mean for me in this moment?  In this moment it means that our physical body is simply a bio-feedback mechanism for our more subtle energy systems.  What we perceive is what we believe, and what we believe is what we perceive.  Our perceptions of self and other literally create the movie we watch each and every day. 

Now, if what I am sharing is even half true, is it possible to help clients cultivate change without addressing what makes them tick?  Many clients have come to me with issues related to posture, many present with an upper cross syndrome (forward head, rounded shoulders, kyphotic thoracic spine).  I would ask you to ask yourself, what does this posture really say about the person’s state of mind and how they see the outside/ inside world?  In my experience using corrective exercise only will not change this person’s posture.  For example, if this client, perceives the outside/inside world as overwhelming, feels as if they have no personal power to take a stand, is afraid to share his or her heart openly, or may be in a relationship in which they are continually abused physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually by other and themselves, I would be highly surprised to see postural changes that hold unless these roots are addressed.

 To see the future all one needs to do is look to the past, until these roots are addressed we will each continue to create the same “movie” over and over, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

The above is only my experience, and does not mean that I even believe It is true, it is only what I have perceived which has become what I believe, with no emotional attachment to my beliefs.  In the next blog I will go over some nuts and bolts ways of addressing the roots with yourself and your clients.

You are alone, absolutely alone. This has to be understood very clearly. The moment a person becomes conscious, he becomes alone. The greater the consciousness, the greater the awareness that you are alone. So, do not escape from this fact through society, friends, associations, crowds. Do not escape from it! It is a great phenomenon. The whole process of evolution has been working toward this.

Consciousness has come to the point now where you know that you are alone.

Osho

The unconfused are confused.  The confused are unconfused.  CONFUSED????

jator

फ्री यौर्सेल्फ़ free yourself

believe in your beauty.  "see" yourself.  Let go of old stories.  Create new "realities".  We are each so blessed to experience this human reality.  There is no rush, follow your heart.  Embrace not knowing.  Humility.  Still

 थे फार्मर वित्हीं The farmer within

my left is structure.  my right is freedom.

my left is open palm.  my right is closed fist.

my left is brute.  my right is intricate.

my left can die.  my right is infinite.

my left is needy.  my right is needless.

my left is tsunami.  my right is nuclear power.

my left is a humble farmer.  my right is the light that runs through the farmer.

नोट क्नोविंग not knowing..  rooted in the idea of letting go and not knowing.  funny how lately i have been through a lot of tidal waves...  my best friend of 17 years had brain surgery, and went into a coma..  i deal with many waves in the world of loving myself, and loving mySELF..  i deal with sharing love with one who shares love with another..  ahhhh so many gifts to learn from..  so many waves to learn to ride and accept..  without these waves i would have no lessons, why would i be here?  i am here as spirit in animal body having experience..  how boring to not have these experiences..  YAY!!!!  i am truly enjoying the life as jator that my soul has choosen..  put the film in the projector, got my yummy organic popcorn with ghee melted on top with a lil bit'o celtic sea salt..  i sit back and enjoy my movie..  the reality is i have created and choosen each of these situations, i choose this experience, so why not enjoy and see the lessons i can learn from each one, no matter how hard?  i choose to enjoy..  but at times i also choose to run intellectually, run into my studies, run into learning, run into filling the ego with knowledge..  do you know how f.n smart i am???  hehehhehehe  freakin ego is funny..  do i have to learn or do i aleady know?  somewhere in here or out there i already know.. just have to let go and align myself, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. 

देअथ सुर्रौंड्स में Death surrounds me...

death surrounds me..  engulfs me..  is me..  delicate life..  balance on the blade..  one slip..  death is around me..  it is always around me..  circumstance have made it more apparent as of late..  so apparent that my focus needs to stay present..  let go of the past..  let go of the future..  experience this moment.. and this moment only.. because death.. hmmmm constantly surrounds me..  i enjoy death..  i enjoy life..  death..  you do not scare me..  death you motivate me..  you push me to live to the limit of the moment..  death is beautiful.. without out it there would be no life..  no thing..  everything..  back to source..  nothing to experience..  death you show me the gift of my humaness..  death you gift me my projection...  death you make life possible..  i see you around me..  i feel you around me..  i taste you..  i play with you..  i know you well..  very well..  i feel you every night..  as i let go..  as each cell takes its last concious breath.. and all completely lets go..  ahhhhh death...  i embrace you..  wrap your arms around me...  i am ready............

Ponder this universal teaching: There is something in us that feels compassionate and strong, patient and wise, indomitable, and of great value. This something is who we actually are. It is the "I" beyond name, without personality—our True Nature .

उनिवेरसे

ओरिगिनल सिं 

The original "sin" is to limit the IS......  DONT!

truth

http://www.paulcheksblog.com/index.php/archive/death-and-the-absolute-essentials-of-personal-training/

ट्रुथ

Remember, when you are Present you feel your realness which is grounded in the moment. Be aware of this today

realize that with Presence we can know our true identity—which is not a frozen form, but fluid, dynamic, and ever-changing.

Nature

नतुरल "It is truth, a force of nature that expresses itself through me-I am only a channel-I can imagine in many instances where I would become sinister to you.  For instance, if life had led you to take up an artificial attitude, then you wouldn't be able to stand me, because I am a natural being.  By my very presence I crystallize; I am a ferment.  The unconscious of people who live in an artificial manner senses me as a  danger.  Everything about me irritates them, my way of speaking, my way of laughing.  They sense nature. (JET, P.51)

F.n truth!

फ.न ट्रुथ! "In his lifelong solitude, the Naskapi hunter has to rely on his own inner voices and unconscious revelations; he has no religious teachers to tell him what he should believe, no rituals, festivals or customs to help him along.  In his basic view of life, the soul of man is simply an 'inner companion' whom he calls 'my friend,' or Mista'peo, meaning 'Great Man.'  Mista'peo dwells in the heart and is immortal..."  (MHS, P.161)

silence........................................................stillness............................................awareness......................

Original Language

ओरिगिनल लन्गुअगे what is the "original language?"  recently I was listening to dialog between to friends about their original language, and how it felt so nice to speak in their native tongue.  This concept sparked the following thoughts in consciousness..  "why do parts of me feel so comfortable around people who 'understand' my path and may also be stepping down a similar one, if not the same one?"  It is because they and I are learning to speak and interpret the "original language"....  We all as human beings "speak" this "original language" the question is are we all clear enough to interpret the language without filters of the ego?  I wonder....  Parts of me are not there, other parts of me are there, I feel in my heart that I know a few people that are there or just tinkering on the edge.  The language that is beyond word, the language that is beyond our conditioned beliefs, the language of silence, the language of our Soul, the language of the Spirit.  I feel this, I know this, I see this, I am this.  Although I may share many conversations with my Soul Tribe, there is much more being said behind the word, behind the eyes, beyond the earth plane, beyond what is known, beyond what is unknown.  To "understand" this language requires a level of "stillness" within, a level of "stillness" without.  To understand we transform and become trans-formative.  How beautiful is this moment!  It is a miracle to be spirit in human form, such a gift, enjoy each and every moment it is all miracle, it is all beautiful, in stillness and essence it is beyond word..  It is the ORIGINAL LANGUAGE..............................................................................................................................................

isolation chamber

my beautiful soul brother John R, shared some very cool stuff with me yesterday..  this man is a beautiful spirit doing fantastic work in New Orleans, and he is doing it basically alone, him and his family only...  i love this man..  such a cool spirit..  he told me to check out Isolation chambers, (i had previously heard of these through my beautiful soul family memeber Kanako) but those who know me well, know that i tend to be a bit forgetful, at least thats my story ; )  anywho, i am going to the isolation chamber tonight, sounds very interesting, relaxing and detoxing...  timothy leary and ram dass used to go into these things on LSD, wow... that must be a serious trip into the psyche..  my goal is to deeply meditate and connect with in utero jator...  talk with him, visit him, and if he has any pains or perceptions that need "healing" i will love him and let him know that his true father his here now, that he is always safe and secure, that he can be loving and open,  that he can trust, that he is source, and to enjoy all experinces...  i love that little guy ; )  a continued practice of talking with the younger 'selfs' of jator has really helped in my "healing" of SELF/self...  i talk to me self cause there is no one to talk too, people ask me why i do what i do - bobby brown  for some reason that cracks me up...  loving myself more and more every moment..  letting go and emptying the bone every moment... seeing behind my eyes and seeing "truth" at least how i perceive it in this moment.  I LOVe you ALL, you are me, i am you..  WE ARE ONE

LOVe of self

लव ऑफ़ सेल्फ i have been playing with the idea of lower case "self" love..  lower case in that LOVe of "self" means love of the physical body to me..  LOVe of "SELF" would be my true SELF which is my soul, the piece of "christ" that lives within me, outside of me, and is truly me..  not Jator, but my true essence.  So love of "self" to me means paying attention to always using the highest quality water, nourishment,  getting sleep in rhythm with the sun and the moon, paying attention to my thoughts and thinking, and moving, stretching, aligning working my body out and working my body "in"...  this all creates the foundation for me to move into SELF love..  the mental, physical, and chemical are so intertwined one cannot separate them until you are at a very high level.  so this has been my basis of "self" love, but the other night i took it one more dig down the rabbit hole..  i was laying in bed breathing and creating still mind to fall asleep, when the monkey mind took me to this thought..  "why don't i ever, hold and caress MYself?"  that thought struck me, and i decided in that moment to start holding myself like a lover would hold me, i kissed myself, and i told myself over and over.. I love you, i love you, i love you..  wow it was wonderful, it was wonderful because as i learn SELF more and more, i also learn how to LOVe self more and more and that it is OK to hold myself and love myself..  it felt so nice to love mySELF, with my"self"...  it was a moment of realizing and letting go of the search or need of external love to make me think i am whole..  I AM WHOLE..  I AM HEALED.. I AM ONE WITH THE KOSMOS..  I DO LOVE MYSELF, and MY self..  I AM SPIRIT AND ANIMAL.. I ENJOY BOTH.. AND DENY NEITHER..  I AM BECOMING A TRUE HUMAN BEING.....

m0ment

म०मेन्त   i observe self.. in observance of self i see how much thought occurs in "future" tense..  i also see and do not see how much thought occurs through the projections of the past.. the past for me is a bit trickier to grasp.  my psyche  likes to hide triggers from me... even though, i find them (triggers) daily hidden in others which i have projected onto them.  I project my own fear, guilt, shame, anger, and hide it from myself and project it onto others and believe it is them not me that causes these triggers.
 The past i have already completely "bought" into, in the sense of buying into my own stories of the past..  I am working on changing old perceptions daily. 
the future i am completely making up..  completely fiction.. come to think of it, i completely make up the past too!
On to the future we go!
 i find myself projecting into the future (less and less) but still a habit pattern of this monkey mind.  i have found a wonderful way of changing this pattern, at least for me, at least in this moment parts of me feel this way.  i find something in my life that i constantly project into future happenings, this is usually a more juicy item (something with a lot of emotional attachment), maybe something i have planned and really looking forward to..  as i observe this, i try to change my thinking almost as fast as the thought arises, and bring myself back to the now moment..  in doing this over and over i am changing the mind and its pathways and creating new ones..  less and less in the future more and more here now..  i will literally chant..  be here now..  be here now..  in doing this i release so much attachment to the future which in truth is completely a mystery...  there are infinite possibilities between now and then..  read that again..  literally infinite possibilities between now and then..  which means any thoughts that create emotions about future events are completely stories made up by yours truly!  even more interesting to me is that those stories about the future are made up based on my experiences of the past being projected into the future so i can make up a story about what "might" happen then i get my emotions going about a future event that has a very good possibility of not even happening!  So i am really projecting the past into the future and the present moment which is why i am never even here...  completely hypnotized... by the past and future that are all made up stories..  and if the past and future is all made up based on my perceptions which are not truths then i live in an illusion which i literally do..  that is the game of the ego..  i play new games now..  rewire....

Thoughts of rebirth

थौघ्ट्स ऑफ़ रेबिर्थ These a random, and then again totally nonrandom thoughts dancing through my head.
Am i focused on having what i think i don't have?  Am i discovering who i am not and therefore who i am, or discovering who i think i am not and who i think i am?  Do external conditions make or break who i am?  Does my happiness depend on external issues?  Where have i placed my trust?  Am i paying attention to my thoughts?  Beliefs created through projection, what i perceive i believe..  i can change my past by interpreting differently.. letting go..  what i see in others i strengthen within myself.  am i challenging my beliefs?  my ego keeps me in bondage - fear, shame, guilt, anger..  let go, jah... leeeeettt goooooooooo.... nice and easy..  Dissolve ego..  focus on love..  are my fears rooted in childhood? = seeds of doubt..  do i see every moment through clouded lenses of the past?  observe self..  I DO NOT PERCEIVE MY OWN BEST INTERESTS!

who shares these "words"

Lost in translation लोस्ट इन त्रन्स्लतिओन

an experience that is quite new to me, has occurred.  only you.... who know beyond word will grasp the following entrance.

in an instant i knew, but how did i know?  senses, senseless, senselessness.......  vast opening..  acute closing.. images.. colors.. PATTERNLESS patterns.. god.. place.. no place... sight.. seeing.. no seeing..  you there.. i there.. we there.. all there.. but knew still..  you there..  how.. how not.. why.. why not... ethereal..  surreal.. within each other..  without each other...  tasted.. expressed.. played.. made love without the physical..  without this plane..  without making love..  pure unconditional love... armor off.. exposed..  implode.. explode..  timeless.. instant... expansion.. propulsion.. emotion.. all... all.. all.. you there.. how.. wordless.. to explain the explain less.. boundless.. circle less.. motionless...less..less.. less..less..less..less.. i am intrigued.. you opened a piece of me that had not been closed.

A prayer for daily empowerment

डेली
I am a new warrior of spirit.
I exist in a world of sacred balance.
I balance with one foot in the physical world of material substance, and one foot in the dimensions of spirit and sacred life.
My course is set by my ally - the winds of time.

Mother Earth gives me life force - the life blood of my sacred body.
The plants give me nourishment and healing as I ride the windhorse of my intent - my sacred warrior's transport of buoyant journey - into a new and unknown world of harmony.

I am truly a new warrior, an androgynous spirit being of light.
My weapons are the shields of awareness, the symbols of ancient truth and the sacred giveaway.
Like the angels that surround me, few see me for who I really am.

I do commerce in the world.
I raise my family.
I live a life dedicated to freedom.
I immerse myself in the physical world, so that one day I can give it up, because I can give up only something that I truly have.

People learn from me through example, because of the integrity of my own life and spirit.
I move into the world with confidence and wisdom.
I am always open and learning tools of knowledge, and I share these with my sisters and brothers.

I am a warrior of light, and I live the integrity of that truth with great care and from the center within myself that is pure goodness - the embodiment of the peaceful soul.

I WALK WITH CONFIDENCE THE PATH OF HEART AND PERSONAL POWER.  AHO!

- The Cards of Wisdom

सेल्फ ओब्सेर्वतिओन self observation

as i go deeper into self (if there is such a thing) i notice my interpretation of others words and my words has changed greatly.  as i truly  sacredly listen to others (still work in progress, this old habit of mine is like Bruce Willis, it DIES HARD!), rather than waiting for my moment to put my two cents in, or being triggered by what someone else says and then not hearing the rest of what they are saying because i am so busy trying to hold the thought of what triggered me and how i cant wait to "tear them a new one".  The change in what I "hear" is that we each are actually talking about what is going on within us, when we say others are needy, hmmmmm does it mean we are needy?  when we say others are lazy, does it mean we are lazy?  when we give others coaching or advice are we listening to our words and hearing the lessons that we need for ourselves not just for the other?  as we step down this path, it can become very easy for the ego to fool you into thinking your something that you are not.  it can trick you into thinking the advice/coaching you give is for other and there are no platinum nuggets there for your ears to hear.  it is so easy to think, well i am the coach, healer, evolved one, conscious one, higher one etc... and start thinking the words you share are for others not for you as well.  so fascinating, isn't it?  i am so thankful to be a spirit learning how to be a human being, so freaking cool!  Our egos are very good at "working" us, they are the best sells people you have ever met, and they will sell you anything as long as it can stay in control of your mind...  be careful of becoming the spiritual warrior that is being run by the ego and thinks he/she is becoming conscious.  and yes...  i am listening to my own words..  i continue the journey..................

“If a man gives way to all his desires, or panders to them, there will be no inner sturggle in him, no ‘friction’no fire. But if, for the sake of attaining a definite aim, he struggles with the desires that hinder him, he will then create a fire which will gradually transform his iner world into a single whole.” – Ouspensky

 ट्रुथ - truth

can you imagine..  कैन यू इमागिने?
the complete level of highness that Jesus was at?  When you really sit back and take that in, it is truly amazing..  literally beaten close to death and then crucified..  and his only thoughts were "forgive them father, for they know not what they do"...    that is so deep.  so beautiful.. so much pure unconditional love.. truly.. unconditional..  i am in awwww of Jesus, and the like..  beautiful.

स्लिप्पेरी फिश  slippery fish.  "To him who has had the experience no explanation is necessary, to him who has not, none is possible"  Ram Dass

I DIVE INTO GOD, INTO SOURCE, INTO THE ABYSS..  गोद god

I focus on this writing, beyond writing.  

Deeper than the words..

Look behind everything...  I AM THERE!

GOD is there, in the spaces that are not seen.

Or unseen because ONE can not perceive.

Does not matter..........

I AM THERE!

Trying to dive into self.

Easy to get lost in expressionlessness..

So many ideas one try's to capture.

Ideas are very fish like..

Slippery..

Slippery to grasp.

My left brain has a hard time moving what I feel, see, experience "here" into literal word to be written.

To truly relax and let go.

Few have that true experience, CONSCIOUSLY.

We ALL go there every night, do you remember, where you go?

Relax into GOD.

Relax into SELF.

Relax into letting GO.....

To consciousness I write poetic hymns of essence of within.

I dive into self head first...

I am not scared.

I am safer than I have ever been.

Safe.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

To know truth.

My truth.

Clear.

Nothing makes sense.

In that same moment, it all makes sense.

How can one make sense out of the senseless?

How can one make sense out of the senselessness????

Still mind.

Be within.

Be without.

BE.