TWOseven

hmmm.. these f'n memes.. i feel you pops. it is so interesting to think of your psyche as a very very intricate computer, that has so much downloaded into it before birth, but continues to be downloaded with freaking information that we are not even aware of from the moment we open our eyes. these memes deeply rooted, controlling, controlling the unconcious mind, have you ever asked yourself "why did i do that" and literally there is no answer???? do your memes serve you? or do they cause unconscious chaos in your life? the more digging around i do the more i find these memes.. rooted in me, and they do not want to let go.. but i feel as i truly believe in what i really am, i am starving these memes, producing new ones that at this moment feel like they serve me and are leading me down the right path. but i could just be crazy.. laughing myself to sleep at night sometimes, thinking "have i truly lost it" it is quite scary to unlearn all that has been learned, so much attachment, much change, and the ego fights you all the way..

ego = "why do you want to change" "why must you take the high road" "why do you take all the responsilbity" itsnt it just easier to let me guide you like everyone else? i wont guide you down the wrong path, its too much work to be conscious all the time, just sit back relax and give me back the controls jator.. give them back to me.. please..

the ego makes me smile.. maybe a crazy smile but a smile nonetheless.. he reminds me of that one friend in your life that you love, but that always wants to take you down their path, and make sure you do not follow yours.. he is my friend, and i love him, but i am enjoying the reigns now. and i have seen too much to give them back even if that means i end up on a island alone somewhere, but i feel the spirits of my mighty companions around they are out there and in fact those relationships are cultivating at this very moment.

"wag more, bark less"

26

i'm back. needed a little break, to sit on some thoughts. life is continuing to send me huge gifts ; ) for those of you that know what i mean by gifts i hope that brings a smile to your face.. it does to mine, gifts from the universe are not always what we want, or what we think we need.. in fact do i know my own best interest? what i mean is, if i am lead by the ego (of course trying not to be) but still the ego runs deep within me, rooted from many lifetimes, and i am not fully self realized yet, is it even possible to know my own best interests? who i am to think i know where, what, how, when, etc this should all work? a while back i took this qi-gong course, there was a point in the course where we learned how to do "energy healing", part of the pre-req for doing any healing on anyone was to ask the universe (god, source, etc) to help you bring to this person whatever it is that they need at this time, which means it may not be healing the injury, because who the hell am i to know if this injury is there for a specific purpose to teach this person a specific lesson?? this was hard for me to swallow, why am i learning "healing"... i asked myself? why do anything for this person? the answer i have come to is as follows, i do not know my own best interest nor do i claim to know anyone else's, but by doing a qi-gong energy healing, what i may do for the person is realase the information contained in the injury/disease etc to their consciousness for them to interpret (through thier mind) as the path they may need to take to address disease/injury or to "see" lesson/gift based on what the source says is the lesson at hand.. in other words i can help bring awareness to this person in their life, which may or may not heal them but it will help them to see the injury/disase as a wake up call of sorts to go deeper within self.. if that is confusing call me ; ) i think i can give a better explanation in person.. the emotional spirtual mental has its manifestations in the phsyical, please do not forget that. it is truth. for me ; )

to bed last night 815pm
up this morning 500am

nourishment
2/3 of the day steak/coconut oil/ garlic/ celtic salt/ pepper
1/3 baked chicken/tomato/raw cream

workout full body/ bodyweight stability ball work
work in beautiful hike in the richmond hills, talking with the tree and nature spirits

2five

amazement and wonderment is where i find myself today. the above picture shows my new eyes through the realization of projection, judgment, and the simple truth that i am the only one here. no matter what i put onto others i.e. projection, judgment, values etc.. to make them separate from me, my beliefs about them are then mirrored back to me so i can buy my own stories about them. i am a very good story spinner =0 very good. truth is.. now i truly know the truth (for me) and the fact that no one else is here leaves me with one last truth, no matter what i perceive in others, or the stories i spin, i am truly only spinning stories about myself, and if those stories are harmful i am only harming myself, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. what i see in others i strengthen within myself. so why see anything but love? thats easy, because your ego wants separation, wants you to live in the storm, wants you to buy its stories, it (the ego) cannot survive without them. if you get the chance watch the movie "Revolver" this will give you a very good idea of how the ego truly works. now the ego is not your enemy rather your playmate, just observe your playmate, but you consciously make the choice to respond, not react.

to bed last night 12am?
up this morning 5am

nourishment
2/3 salmon/zucchini/olive oil/celtic salt/black pepper
1/3 big salad from cafe gratitude "i am fulfilled" with almond humus and goji berry dressing yum yum

tweNTY fOUR

"True warrior”, I believe a true warrior is a person willing to look in the mirror of self, to take full responsibility for what they create, to take responsibility for their judgments, and projections. A true warrior will embrace this path and UN-learn all that has been learned for a new path and new reality. A true warrior must be ready to look in the mirror and except all, not bits and pieces.

“When the role called; I am a human being ends, we call that death. It’s a lot easier to let that role die before the body dies and let it be put to rest now” adyashanti

to bed last night 830pm
up this morning 7am

nourishment
2/3 pork loin/greens/coconut oil/red onion
1/2 salmon/olive oil/salt/pepper/zuchinni