realize that with Presence we can know our true identity—which is not a frozen form, but fluid, dynamic, and ever-changing.

Nature

नतुरल "It is truth, a force of nature that expresses itself through me-I am only a channel-I can imagine in many instances where I would become sinister to you.  For instance, if life had led you to take up an artificial attitude, then you wouldn't be able to stand me, because I am a natural being.  By my very presence I crystallize; I am a ferment.  The unconscious of people who live in an artificial manner senses me as a  danger.  Everything about me irritates them, my way of speaking, my way of laughing.  They sense nature. (JET, P.51)

F.n truth!

फ.न ट्रुथ! "In his lifelong solitude, the Naskapi hunter has to rely on his own inner voices and unconscious revelations; he has no religious teachers to tell him what he should believe, no rituals, festivals or customs to help him along.  In his basic view of life, the soul of man is simply an 'inner companion' whom he calls 'my friend,' or Mista'peo, meaning 'Great Man.'  Mista'peo dwells in the heart and is immortal..."  (MHS, P.161)

silence........................................................stillness............................................awareness......................

Original Language

ओरिगिनल लन्गुअगे what is the "original language?"  recently I was listening to dialog between to friends about their original language, and how it felt so nice to speak in their native tongue.  This concept sparked the following thoughts in consciousness..  "why do parts of me feel so comfortable around people who 'understand' my path and may also be stepping down a similar one, if not the same one?"  It is because they and I are learning to speak and interpret the "original language"....  We all as human beings "speak" this "original language" the question is are we all clear enough to interpret the language without filters of the ego?  I wonder....  Parts of me are not there, other parts of me are there, I feel in my heart that I know a few people that are there or just tinkering on the edge.  The language that is beyond word, the language that is beyond our conditioned beliefs, the language of silence, the language of our Soul, the language of the Spirit.  I feel this, I know this, I see this, I am this.  Although I may share many conversations with my Soul Tribe, there is much more being said behind the word, behind the eyes, beyond the earth plane, beyond what is known, beyond what is unknown.  To "understand" this language requires a level of "stillness" within, a level of "stillness" without.  To understand we transform and become trans-formative.  How beautiful is this moment!  It is a miracle to be spirit in human form, such a gift, enjoy each and every moment it is all miracle, it is all beautiful, in stillness and essence it is beyond word..  It is the ORIGINAL LANGUAGE..............................................................................................................................................

isolation chamber

my beautiful soul brother John R, shared some very cool stuff with me yesterday..  this man is a beautiful spirit doing fantastic work in New Orleans, and he is doing it basically alone, him and his family only...  i love this man..  such a cool spirit..  he told me to check out Isolation chambers, (i had previously heard of these through my beautiful soul family memeber Kanako) but those who know me well, know that i tend to be a bit forgetful, at least thats my story ; )  anywho, i am going to the isolation chamber tonight, sounds very interesting, relaxing and detoxing...  timothy leary and ram dass used to go into these things on LSD, wow... that must be a serious trip into the psyche..  my goal is to deeply meditate and connect with in utero jator...  talk with him, visit him, and if he has any pains or perceptions that need "healing" i will love him and let him know that his true father his here now, that he is always safe and secure, that he can be loving and open,  that he can trust, that he is source, and to enjoy all experinces...  i love that little guy ; )  a continued practice of talking with the younger 'selfs' of jator has really helped in my "healing" of SELF/self...  i talk to me self cause there is no one to talk too, people ask me why i do what i do - bobby brown  for some reason that cracks me up...  loving myself more and more every moment..  letting go and emptying the bone every moment... seeing behind my eyes and seeing "truth" at least how i perceive it in this moment.  I LOVe you ALL, you are me, i am you..  WE ARE ONE

LOVe of self

लव ऑफ़ सेल्फ i have been playing with the idea of lower case "self" love..  lower case in that LOVe of "self" means love of the physical body to me..  LOVe of "SELF" would be my true SELF which is my soul, the piece of "christ" that lives within me, outside of me, and is truly me..  not Jator, but my true essence.  So love of "self" to me means paying attention to always using the highest quality water, nourishment,  getting sleep in rhythm with the sun and the moon, paying attention to my thoughts and thinking, and moving, stretching, aligning working my body out and working my body "in"...  this all creates the foundation for me to move into SELF love..  the mental, physical, and chemical are so intertwined one cannot separate them until you are at a very high level.  so this has been my basis of "self" love, but the other night i took it one more dig down the rabbit hole..  i was laying in bed breathing and creating still mind to fall asleep, when the monkey mind took me to this thought..  "why don't i ever, hold and caress MYself?"  that thought struck me, and i decided in that moment to start holding myself like a lover would hold me, i kissed myself, and i told myself over and over.. I love you, i love you, i love you..  wow it was wonderful, it was wonderful because as i learn SELF more and more, i also learn how to LOVe self more and more and that it is OK to hold myself and love myself..  it felt so nice to love mySELF, with my"self"...  it was a moment of realizing and letting go of the search or need of external love to make me think i am whole..  I AM WHOLE..  I AM HEALED.. I AM ONE WITH THE KOSMOS..  I DO LOVE MYSELF, and MY self..  I AM SPIRIT AND ANIMAL.. I ENJOY BOTH.. AND DENY NEITHER..  I AM BECOMING A TRUE HUMAN BEING.....

m0ment

म०मेन्त   i observe self.. in observance of self i see how much thought occurs in "future" tense..  i also see and do not see how much thought occurs through the projections of the past.. the past for me is a bit trickier to grasp.  my psyche  likes to hide triggers from me... even though, i find them (triggers) daily hidden in others which i have projected onto them.  I project my own fear, guilt, shame, anger, and hide it from myself and project it onto others and believe it is them not me that causes these triggers.
 The past i have already completely "bought" into, in the sense of buying into my own stories of the past..  I am working on changing old perceptions daily. 
the future i am completely making up..  completely fiction.. come to think of it, i completely make up the past too!
On to the future we go!
 i find myself projecting into the future (less and less) but still a habit pattern of this monkey mind.  i have found a wonderful way of changing this pattern, at least for me, at least in this moment parts of me feel this way.  i find something in my life that i constantly project into future happenings, this is usually a more juicy item (something with a lot of emotional attachment), maybe something i have planned and really looking forward to..  as i observe this, i try to change my thinking almost as fast as the thought arises, and bring myself back to the now moment..  in doing this over and over i am changing the mind and its pathways and creating new ones..  less and less in the future more and more here now..  i will literally chant..  be here now..  be here now..  in doing this i release so much attachment to the future which in truth is completely a mystery...  there are infinite possibilities between now and then..  read that again..  literally infinite possibilities between now and then..  which means any thoughts that create emotions about future events are completely stories made up by yours truly!  even more interesting to me is that those stories about the future are made up based on my experiences of the past being projected into the future so i can make up a story about what "might" happen then i get my emotions going about a future event that has a very good possibility of not even happening!  So i am really projecting the past into the future and the present moment which is why i am never even here...  completely hypnotized... by the past and future that are all made up stories..  and if the past and future is all made up based on my perceptions which are not truths then i live in an illusion which i literally do..  that is the game of the ego..  i play new games now..  rewire....

Thoughts of rebirth

थौघ्ट्स ऑफ़ रेबिर्थ These a random, and then again totally nonrandom thoughts dancing through my head.
Am i focused on having what i think i don't have?  Am i discovering who i am not and therefore who i am, or discovering who i think i am not and who i think i am?  Do external conditions make or break who i am?  Does my happiness depend on external issues?  Where have i placed my trust?  Am i paying attention to my thoughts?  Beliefs created through projection, what i perceive i believe..  i can change my past by interpreting differently.. letting go..  what i see in others i strengthen within myself.  am i challenging my beliefs?  my ego keeps me in bondage - fear, shame, guilt, anger..  let go, jah... leeeeettt goooooooooo.... nice and easy..  Dissolve ego..  focus on love..  are my fears rooted in childhood? = seeds of doubt..  do i see every moment through clouded lenses of the past?  observe self..  I DO NOT PERCEIVE MY OWN BEST INTERESTS!

who shares these "words"

Lost in translation लोस्ट इन त्रन्स्लतिओन

an experience that is quite new to me, has occurred.  only you.... who know beyond word will grasp the following entrance.

in an instant i knew, but how did i know?  senses, senseless, senselessness.......  vast opening..  acute closing.. images.. colors.. PATTERNLESS patterns.. god.. place.. no place... sight.. seeing.. no seeing..  you there.. i there.. we there.. all there.. but knew still..  you there..  how.. how not.. why.. why not... ethereal..  surreal.. within each other..  without each other...  tasted.. expressed.. played.. made love without the physical..  without this plane..  without making love..  pure unconditional love... armor off.. exposed..  implode.. explode..  timeless.. instant... expansion.. propulsion.. emotion.. all... all.. all.. you there.. how.. wordless.. to explain the explain less.. boundless.. circle less.. motionless...less..less.. less..less..less..less.. i am intrigued.. you opened a piece of me that had not been closed.

A prayer for daily empowerment

डेली
I am a new warrior of spirit.
I exist in a world of sacred balance.
I balance with one foot in the physical world of material substance, and one foot in the dimensions of spirit and sacred life.
My course is set by my ally - the winds of time.

Mother Earth gives me life force - the life blood of my sacred body.
The plants give me nourishment and healing as I ride the windhorse of my intent - my sacred warrior's transport of buoyant journey - into a new and unknown world of harmony.

I am truly a new warrior, an androgynous spirit being of light.
My weapons are the shields of awareness, the symbols of ancient truth and the sacred giveaway.
Like the angels that surround me, few see me for who I really am.

I do commerce in the world.
I raise my family.
I live a life dedicated to freedom.
I immerse myself in the physical world, so that one day I can give it up, because I can give up only something that I truly have.

People learn from me through example, because of the integrity of my own life and spirit.
I move into the world with confidence and wisdom.
I am always open and learning tools of knowledge, and I share these with my sisters and brothers.

I am a warrior of light, and I live the integrity of that truth with great care and from the center within myself that is pure goodness - the embodiment of the peaceful soul.

I WALK WITH CONFIDENCE THE PATH OF HEART AND PERSONAL POWER.  AHO!

- The Cards of Wisdom

सेल्फ ओब्सेर्वतिओन self observation

as i go deeper into self (if there is such a thing) i notice my interpretation of others words and my words has changed greatly.  as i truly  sacredly listen to others (still work in progress, this old habit of mine is like Bruce Willis, it DIES HARD!), rather than waiting for my moment to put my two cents in, or being triggered by what someone else says and then not hearing the rest of what they are saying because i am so busy trying to hold the thought of what triggered me and how i cant wait to "tear them a new one".  The change in what I "hear" is that we each are actually talking about what is going on within us, when we say others are needy, hmmmmm does it mean we are needy?  when we say others are lazy, does it mean we are lazy?  when we give others coaching or advice are we listening to our words and hearing the lessons that we need for ourselves not just for the other?  as we step down this path, it can become very easy for the ego to fool you into thinking your something that you are not.  it can trick you into thinking the advice/coaching you give is for other and there are no platinum nuggets there for your ears to hear.  it is so easy to think, well i am the coach, healer, evolved one, conscious one, higher one etc... and start thinking the words you share are for others not for you as well.  so fascinating, isn't it?  i am so thankful to be a spirit learning how to be a human being, so freaking cool!  Our egos are very good at "working" us, they are the best sells people you have ever met, and they will sell you anything as long as it can stay in control of your mind...  be careful of becoming the spiritual warrior that is being run by the ego and thinks he/she is becoming conscious.  and yes...  i am listening to my own words..  i continue the journey..................

“If a man gives way to all his desires, or panders to them, there will be no inner sturggle in him, no ‘friction’no fire. But if, for the sake of attaining a definite aim, he struggles with the desires that hinder him, he will then create a fire which will gradually transform his iner world into a single whole.” – Ouspensky

 ट्रुथ - truth

can you imagine..  कैन यू इमागिने?
the complete level of highness that Jesus was at?  When you really sit back and take that in, it is truly amazing..  literally beaten close to death and then crucified..  and his only thoughts were "forgive them father, for they know not what they do"...    that is so deep.  so beautiful.. so much pure unconditional love.. truly.. unconditional..  i am in awwww of Jesus, and the like..  beautiful.

स्लिप्पेरी फिश  slippery fish.  "To him who has had the experience no explanation is necessary, to him who has not, none is possible"  Ram Dass

I DIVE INTO GOD, INTO SOURCE, INTO THE ABYSS..  गोद god

I focus on this writing, beyond writing.  

Deeper than the words..

Look behind everything...  I AM THERE!

GOD is there, in the spaces that are not seen.

Or unseen because ONE can not perceive.

Does not matter..........

I AM THERE!

Trying to dive into self.

Easy to get lost in expressionlessness..

So many ideas one try's to capture.

Ideas are very fish like..

Slippery..

Slippery to grasp.

My left brain has a hard time moving what I feel, see, experience "here" into literal word to be written.

To truly relax and let go.

Few have that true experience, CONSCIOUSLY.

We ALL go there every night, do you remember, where you go?

Relax into GOD.

Relax into SELF.

Relax into letting GO.....

To consciousness I write poetic hymns of essence of within.

I dive into self head first...

I am not scared.

I am safer than I have ever been.

Safe.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

To know truth.

My truth.

Clear.

Nothing makes sense.

In that same moment, it all makes sense.

How can one make sense out of the senseless?

How can one make sense out of the senselessness????

Still mind.

Be within.

Be without.

BE.